Often times we get caught up in friendships or relationships that are emotionally draining because we feel bonded to them. Maybe you’ve known them for years, stayed in touch a long time or they could even be family.
The problem is, the people we hang out with have a direct impact on our present existence and future success. So, you seriously need to stop hanging out with losers.
Now I sound like a huge jerk, but hear me out
It’s possible to love someone, but not love how they deal with life, rant, gossip and don’t think positively. As much as it would be great to think we can change them on our own with our listening skills and positive thinking, we can’t. At least not always.
The only people who are capable of changing are those who want to change. You can help, but they have to want to change first. And this isn’t pretend change, as in rant about it and say they want to change. This is a Tony Robbins, “eff this I won’t take this any more, I’m done and ready to move on” kind of change.
If they’re not ready to do that, they’re putting your own future in jeopardy.
You’ve been a good friend by standing by them, but now it’s time to be a better friend. By being a sounding board you’re not helping (like your intention), you’re allowing the situation to go on. That isn’t healthy for you or them. You both need change. Why?
Because life shouldn’t suck
Sometimes we forget that life doesn’t have to suck. It’s not meant to suck. We’re meant to live fruitful lives that have meaning. How do I know this? Look at the lives of your own mentors and other everyday heroes. They take great risks, love greatly and give greatly. Instead of take negative situations into a negative place, they use it as an opportunity. They don’t take life for granted, they grab it and run with it. Simply because…
You were born dying
Who you hang with and communicate with is a direct reflection of who you are and what you’ll become. Ask yourself who you want to become in your short lifetime and if being held back/drained/burdened is something you’re okay with. If you hang out with people with high standards, chances are you too will abide by those standards. Just like if you hang out with people that eat or drink too much, chances are you too will follow that same path.
If you don’t believe me, cut down the time you talk to and spend time with negative influences and see what kind of change happens. Sure, it’ll be sad to see the relationship die, but what roots of growth happen in its place?
Sure, I’m no relationship expert by any means, but I’ve spent a fair amount of time hanging out with losers. I became one; wasting time and complaining about things I could change. My life only changed when I let go of that life completely and hung around people who were positive, thought positive things and wanted more out of life than to waste its precious time.
It’s not always easy to stay positive, but there are plenty of websites that can help. Besides ChickTech, there’s also:
Tiny Buddha
(http://tinybuddha.com)
Simple wisdom for complex lives. Quotes, tips & stories to help us help ourselves and each other.
–> How to deal with negative people
Life Hack
One of the top productivity, life hack and lifestyle blogs on the web.
(http://www.lifehack.org)
My Venture Pad
(http://myventurepad.com)
–> Negative people are career success killers